


Another Costume Piece

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Crime and Cricket, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Raffles and Bunny rummage through an old chest of costumes and get rather carried away.





	Another Costume Piece

Stood beside an open mahogany chest with clothes draped over the side, Raffles and Bunny were dressing themselves. Bunny glanced quickly over at the trouser-less Raffles and noticed the sharp calves, the strong thighs and manly ankles. For a moment he forgot where he was.

“Batten down the hatches, Bunny, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Breaking from his trance, Bunny finally focused and allowed himself to look away from Raffles’ tremendous legs. He handed him the trousers. “Don’t forget the pantaloons,” he said.

With a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, Raffles took them from Bunny’s grasp and placed them on. “My sister and her family certainly have their fill of fancy-dress costumes in here.”

“Yes, and your niece wants her wonderful uncle Arthur to be the best at disguises, so chop-chop.”

“I am the master of disguise in case you’d forgotten, my old Rabbit.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t know that.”

“Very well. Raffles the pirate and his first mate is quite the picture. Just look at you, Bunny, in all those ruffles, you are quite something.”

“Well shiver me timbers, A.J, was that a compliment?”

“Indeed it was. You look rather fetching all ready to buckle your swash.”

“Raffles and ruffles, I’m all set.”

With a chuckle, Raffles grabbed the costume dagger and placed it between his teeth. “The piece de resistance? Ta-Da!’ 

Ignoring him and placing an eyepatch on his left eye, Bunny slapped his own thigh excitedly. “You look swell, me hearty.”

“Oh, don’t do the voice, Bunny.”

“Why not?”

“It’s terrifying…and wrong, and terrifyingly wrong, oh and speaking of terrifying…that eye patch.”

“What’s wrong with the eye-patch?”

“It’s all wrong for your face.”

Bunny looked at himself in the mirror, standing upright and bristling with pride. “I think it makes me look quite good.”

“It disguises your best feature.” 

“My left eye?”

“Your innocence.”

“Well, surely that’s the point, A.J. A pirate isn’t supposed to be innocent- a pirate is a villainous plundering thief.”

“Aye and we be plundering pirates of the worst kind.” Raffles placed his hands on his hips. “Where the treasure be hidden, boy?”

Bunny smirked as Raffles’ eyes lit up with flash of menace. 

“Don’t look at me like that!” Bunny whimpered.

Grabbing a replica cutlass and holding it to Bunny’s throat, Raffles asked again: “Avast ye matey! Where be the treasure?”

Bunny immediately forgot his pirate vernacular as his voice came out in received pronunciation. “I thought I was your first mate, not your victim, and so you know, you’re not getting your hands on my booty!”

“I have other ways of interrogation,” Raffles said, approaching his friend, eyeing him up and down as though a vulture circling the dead. “I can claim your goods any which way I desire.”

There was a squeak and a whimper as the cutlass ran up Bunny’s leg, stopping at his groin.

“Do you surrender to me, Bunny, or do you want me to sacrifice the crown jewels?”

“Do you mind?” he replied, pushing the sword away. “This is your sister’s country home; we can’t talk like that here. Suppose someone hears us?!”

“Then they shall walk the plank. Ye still haven’t coughed up the treasure.”

Bunny pushed his face close to his friend. “If you’re such a good thief than surely you can take the treasure without any of the rough stuff.”

“I shall board ye vessel and take what is mine.” Raffles’ eyes were dancing with merriment and his lip was curled into a menacing grin.

Bunny swatted him away. “I am not to be boarded!” He removed his eye patch and pirate hat. “Perhaps we should send the pirate roles overboard. It might be safer to be regular sailors. I think you’re getting too much into this roleplay!”

Raffles nodded, discarded his pirate attire and grabbed a new outfit from the dressing trunk, placing a fine naval hat upon his head. “Fine. I shall instead be in command of a grand ship. And we shall sail the seven seas together.” He next placed a naval hat on Bunny and then rummaged around until he found them fine elegant naval jackets to match. “Ah, yes, that’s more like it, old thing. You look quite splendid.”

“Yes, and I must admit I like you better as a romantic and dynamic Admiral than a toothless pillaging pirate. I’m also glad you can talk normally again.”

“I’ll have you know my pirate dialect and accent was coming on a real treat.”

“Too much so.”

“Well, come along Manders, take the wheel, we appear to be under imminent attack.”

Bunny mimed looking through a telescope which he pretended was in his hands and then ducked and dived from the non-existent cannon fire. “I don’t like the look of that storm either. Oh look, is that an albatross?”

Raffles chuckled and with a flourish of his hands began to recite Coleridge: ‘Day after day, day after day, we stuck, nor breath nor motion; As idle as a painted ship, upon a painted ocean.’

His beautiful recital was interrupted rather melodramatically by Bunny with cries of: “All hands on deck! All hands on deck!”

Amidst the false spectacle, Raffles clutched his heart, fell to the floor theatrically and let out a series of heavy breaths, fluttering his eyelids as he did so. He reached out for Bunny. “I’ve been hit, Manders! Curse those French swine!”

Bunny dived to the floor, caught up in the fake emotion and grabbed his friend’s hand. “Oh, great Admiral, don’t die on me!”

“A cruel, cruel world. Kiss me Hardy!”

Bunny kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll kiss you softly first.”

Looking into his eyes, Raffles reached up and took Bunny’s face in his falsely trembling hands. He kissed him on the lips and then laughed. “Good show, my dear rabbit. Not a bad way to go eh, side by side?”

“I’d rather side by side in bed!”

“I’ll bet you would.”

“I meant in old age, A.J- peacefully.”

“Spoil sport.”

There was the sudden sound of feet running along the corridor and then the creak of a floorboard outside the room. “Uncle Arthur!” a young girl’s voice called from behind the door. 

She giggled as she was greeted with the sight of her uncle in the nursery room, pretending to be dead in the arms of his friend Bunny Manders.


End file.
